Chapter 1
The Journey to Nothing

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1_START
2_THE MESSENGERS
3_THE VOICES
4_THE VIEW
5_THE PORTAL
6_THE NOTHING

1_START

It all started on a warm summer evening, with a nice light breeze. And after a long day, I was tired. I felt it was time for me to rest. Yes. Oh, and my stomach was telling me to eat something. So, I prepared two pieces of toast and smeared creamy peanut butter around the edges, then topped it with slices of banana. Picture that. ummm. Mmmuh.

I also made a cup of hot tea and set my treat and tea on the old end table, by my cozy chair. Then I grabbed an interesting book from my end table and scrambled through its pages. It seemed such a relaxing evening.

Then just as I was settling in, I heard a door slam. It came from inside my neighbour’s house. A young couple had recently moved in next door to me. Their house was well looked after, with a beautiful garden in the backyard. They loved their garden with vegetables, flowers, berries and a few fruit trees. It was splendid.

I had met them once when they moved in, but only had a few brief yard encounters after that. Their names were Oby and Mia. They seemed like nice people.

I saw, through my patio window, that Mia always met Oby at the door with a long hug, and a few kisses on his cheek. Oby never missed a return home where he didn’t bring Mia flowers, or something in a bag. The flowers I saw him bring were always different.

Now, inadvertently, they quite often left their hall window facing my yard, slightly ajar. Sometimes, if sitting in my cozy chair, I could hear them talking across the yard, and through my patio walls, laughing and doing things together.

open window

But, months after they moved in there seemed some problems. One evening, when Oby came home with some beautiful flowers, Mia smiled, kissed Oby and then oddly proceeded to eat the flowers one by one. They hugged and went inside. later there was loud talking and some crying. There was much talk of departed people and what they were doing. I could only hear their voices, but it seemed they were trying to talk to, the departed people. Being next door, I had heard much more than I wanted to.

This evening, it was louder than it had been before. They must have thought they couldn’t be heard. But the little window was open, and they talked a little loudly. Not angry, just louder. It just didn’t seem right to hear what I heard. I put down my book and made sure all my windows were closed, then I turned on the TV, thinking hey, maybe the volume will muffle them out? But only evening news and static were on. I quickly turned that off.

I tried not to listen, but I was surprised to overhear that Oby and Mia had very strange problems, and dark secrets. The secrets I was forced to overhear made the back of my neck shake. So, I decided to get out for a late stroll, just to relax.

I then remembered an easy looking trail off the road, along a nearby hillside. You know, I had passed by that trail many times, and I often wondered where it went. It seemed to weave up and over slow rolling land and beyond. It was picturesque, mysterious and it seemed it might be relaxing, over there. So, dressing casually, I left my sandwich and tea on my table and trekked on down the tree lined road, to that mysterious trail.

The trail started, just past the power lines, then, over a ditch and up the hillsides. But when I arrived at the start, the entrance had recently overgrown and was covered in thick brushes. Clearing the brush away and jumping over the ditch, I took my first fateful step up the trail. From there on, the gradual trail was easy walking.

When I crossed the first hill, I was quite surprised, to overlook a sparkling river in the distance. I never knew it was there. Looking down I could see the beautiful river sparkled of reds, and blues, and whites, and it wound gracefully down through the hills, and fields beyond. As I was walking higher I could see the river then split into many branches, in many directions, onward into the horizon.

A trail here and a trail there seemed to follow it in every direction, as if they were shadows. It looked, like a picture postcard, with the setting sun. The sky had a few clouds. They drifted aimlessly.

I recall it, so well. The sun was late in the west, as I followed the trail until it became a small path, through the hills. The air was fresh, and the fragrance of dew laden flowers kept drawing me up the path. I could even hear cool water rippling somewhere near to my side. The land was comforting and it had the sound and smell of life everywhere.

Walking was peaceful and it soothed my pressing thoughts. I felt peace and calm surrounded by nature.

But as I felt the peace and the calm each step I took set my deepest wonder in motion. The path wound higher toward a bumpy field. So I stopped, and as I looked around, at all I witnessed, I took a very deep breath.

I closed my eyes, and wondered, how all that is, could ever be? What force could it be? That I was even here to wonder, seemed indeed, the greatest wonder of all. I opened one eye at a time and proceeded to walk again. The path wound higher toward the bumpy field. Then, a sequence of amazing events happened, that travelled to the very cradle of my wonder. This is what happened to me:

2_THE MESSENGERS

When I was approaching the field, I heard distant rumbles coming from the bottom of a far cliff, where a recent rain had fell. They came from across the river in the west, where the sun was setting.

As I turned to the rumbles. I had to shield my eyes with my hand as I saw a glow of light, arcing above a cave on the far cliff. Then, out of the light, I saw a large white bird emerge from the cave.

My eyes were blurred by the bright lights, and then the bird grew larger, as it soared effortlessly nearer to me. The bird had beautiful wings to soar on and the sun radiated from around its form.

It crossed the sparkling river, and landed gracefully, on a fall of trees, across from a small grassy lea. The noise had now stopped echoing, throughout the distant shadowed valleys and fields.

But, the bird’s form was hard to distinguish as I tried to see it better. It was difficult to see with the bright setting sunlight radiating around it. Incredibly, there it was. Some kind of bird, came out of distant explosion of light, and flew directly, toward, me. I was incredibly aware, that something very different was happening. An eerie quiet then surrounded me before I dared walk toward the bird, I carefully moved forward.

My feet made low crunching noises from the dry leaves and breaking twigs in the base of the field between the bird and I. My eyes could not see clearly across the distance, what nature of bird, this creature could be. The setting sun obscured its features and I even wondered, was it a bird? It flew.

It looked alien, yet, strangely familiar. It seemed to have few features, and then suddenly features would appear. Woah. I felt a slight shock, as I observed the bird forming before me. First I could make out two big eyes. They appeared to me like, human like, and shaped like mine.

Both eyes looked directly at me. They blinked once. Then the bird’s form moved back and forth, as it looked at me. I thought I was examining it, but strangely it seemed as if, it was examining me! What manner of creature can this be? Aaah. It looked at me and I heard a soft sound.

I then cautiously started to inch closer and came near the small lea. The bird did not move, or flinch, or attempt to glide away, and I wanted to get nearer. I thought, dare I move too quickly, and maybe lose this sight?

Inching slowly closer, I noticed a very light fog or mist arising from its damp body, and surrounding its torso. The mist radiated into an arc of colors from the setting sun behind it.

It was a beautiful sight to see. The bird did not move. I was awe struck, and didn’t know what to think. We looked at each other, and time seemed to stand still.

Then I was startled from my trance, as I heard more rumbles from across the river. They came from the cave where the bird had come from, and my heart skipped a beat. This time the arcs of light seemed different colors, I can’t describe. Some were unique to my idea of colour.

Out of the light and from the cave, another bird came flying toward me. This one appeared similar to the first, and Its form swung forward and its wings spread wide as it neared.

It then landed on a felled log, within a few feet, of the other bird and stared directly, at me. There was a slight gust of wind over the glistening river. My heart beat a little faster, in excited anticipation.

As I sat down on a nearby flat rock, I peered curiously at the oddness, of these birdlike creatures. I soon realized, there was much more to this apparition, than I dared to believe.

They hummed at each other, then turned back to look at me. The first bird’s wing forms gently spread open, as in the shape of a Vee, and a halo of the sun’s light appeared around its form.

With my mouth opening wide, and my eyes bulging out, I had to shake my head in amazement. Their silhouettes appeared as if they were fine tuning of human features, with magnificent wings. It was as if they were becoming as I, only, with wings.

The second bird’s mouth then took shape before my eyes. It formed two perfect lips, teeth white as snow, and a pink tongue, all like I would know. It then made a friendly human smile, and a voice came out expressing, different sounds.

Many sounds were foreign to my ear with whistles, clicks, beats and other unrecognizable utterings. My head reached out from my shoulders, as I took a deep breath. I wondered, Could they be trying to communicate with me? How is this possible? I felt a deep gulp.

3_THE VOICES

Suddenly, both of their forms then showed appendages and features, all like I would naturally know. Their wings folded down to their back and their muted silhouettes then walked and came toward me. This freaked me out. I knew not where to go. I didn’t know what to do.

My lips stuck together, my throat felt sharp and dry. I pinched my thigh, and it hurt. I hesitated to believe what I was seeing, and hearing. I knew no precedent, for what I saw, and what I heard. They then made more odd noises. There were sounds that were easier to my ear and tones they uttered more familiar. Soon I could recognize a few vowels of language being voiced. UH.EWW Among the utterings, I heard a clear “O” and then some clicks.

An O? What! How could I believe? It had to be a fluke. But it was the same O as I would say. I stood and said a deep “O”. My knees wobbled weakly as an “O” was responded. I grabbed my hands tightly and took a deep breath, as I waited for more.

Other sounds happened and then I heard, an “A”. I responded in amazement, as I took another deep gulp, then by precisely saying “A. E. I. O.U.” They looked first at each other, and then back to me, and they both in unison echoed back the same “A. E. I. O. U.” It was exactly, as I had said. I could not believe. I was shocked. They were parroting my sounds. How far could they go, could they form words from my sounds? I hummed, they hummed. Their tone was clear, their sounds articulate.

All sense went away, all reality not real to my known thoughts. Could this be real? Taking a heavy deep breath, I tried to reason the vowels, into words, I pointed to me and said, ‘human’.

The first bird now appeared, almost human-like. It drew closer, and made sounds into form, and some words to understand. There were forms of some languages, I recalled a little about. I heard an ‘ola’ and a ‘hi’. With these sounds, I then quickly added to my comment, “English”, as my language.

They both responded, with a shimmering light around their forms. There was a slight pause, then a humming like sound. With my mouth agape, a human sounding voice came out, as if from both at once. It said,

GREETING, TO YOU ENGLISH HUMAN, OF YOUR PLANET EARTH, AROUND A STAR YOU CALL SUN.

What! Shock! Immediately I felt trepidation and wondered should I step back. Yet my wonder, and amazement continued to grow. In response, their voices were within me.

WE ARE NOT COME WITH HARM, BUT WITH COUNSEL. WE ASK YOU TO HEAR OUR STORY AND SEEK ONLY TRUTH. FOR THE PURPOSE OF LIFE IS HEREIN REVEALED.

I fell to the ground in amazement and covered my mouth with my hand. Together, the voices were comforting, and they spoke words, that were easy to my ear. The voices then continued:

WE ARE COME FROM A UNIVERSE, APART FROM HERE, AND LIKE YOUR OWN, OUR STORY IS OF WOE, AND SUFFERING. IT IS ALSO A STORY OF HOPE, AND OF ANSWERS TO YOUR WONDER.

I nervously stood and fell back two steps. They asked me to wait.

DO NOT LEAVE, LEST THIS STORY GO UNTOLD, FOR IN IT, IS ALL EXISTENCE.

Woe and suffering. Hope and wonder. I felt the nerve to ask, Why have you chosen, to speak with me? I fear I have nothing to offer.

FEAR NOT, FOR WE WILL USE WORDS, AND UNDERSTANDINGS, TO DESCRIBE A WORLD, MUCH LIKE YOUR OWN. NOT ONE OF OUR ACTIONS, WILL CAUSE HARM TO YOU. WHEN OUR STORY IS TOLD, YOU WILL RETURN TO YOUR WALK, AS NO TIME, HAD PASSED.

As alien as they seemed to me, they were more familiar, than not. I stood holding my hands, and smiled at them. Laughingly I said; Tell me your story, what harm can there be? They responded;

RELAX YOUR BEING, AND PREPARE FOR A TIME RIDE, THROUGH A DIMENSION, NOT KNOWN TO YOU.

4_THE VIEW

I stood silent. Whatever they meant, I could not resist. My breathing got heavier, and my muscles, fell weak, as they started their tale. The first bird, said this:

VISION THE LAND TURF, WITH A SUN, WE CALL BIG LITE. TURF IS MUCH LIKE YOUR WORLD, IN SIZE AND COMPOSITION, IN DIVERSITY AND ABUNDANCE. IT IS MUCH LIKE YOUR WORLD, IN CONFLICT, AND TRAGEDY.

Now the second bird, slowly opened its wings wide, and reached high, toward the sky. They were elegant to my eye, in a way, I cannot describe.

Strange symbols then floated toward me, as if arising from its eyes. They seemed like, tiny bubbles that grew bigger as they neared me and then slowly disappeared as I breathed them in. Then a soft voice narrated their tale. It asked me to first,

REMOVE YOUR EYEGLASSES, SO YOUR EYES WILL SEE ALL THE SKY. LIE DOWN IN COMFORT ON THIS HILL, WITH YOUR ARMS SPREAD WIDE, TO YOUR EAST, AND TO YOUR WEST, SO YOUR FEET WILL FACE SOUTH, AND YOUR HEAD WILL FACE NORTH, TO VIEW UNENCUMBERED, IN EVERY DIRECTION.

I felt apprehension, and yet excitement, as I agreed to their request. I gathered some dry leaves together for cushion, loosened my belt, laid my glasses to the side, and laid down in comfort on the grassy lea. With my head resting on my vest, I spread my left arm to the East, and my right arm to the West, as they asked. I was breathing calmly. But yet I was aware, of the deepness of my breath. The sky was clear, from horizon to horizon. There was nothing to obstruct my view.

5_THE PORTAL

The first stars were now appearing, in the evening sky, with the sun fading over the horizon, to my right. A light breeze blew through the hills, and I relaxed. My eyes were wide open, as If a show were to start. Then the second bird appeared, and seemed to float beside, me to my right, and said,

SEE OUR STORY. HEAR OUR WORDS. EXPERIENCE OUR BEING, THROUGH OUR PORTAL IN YOUR SKY. WE HAVE MUCH TO SHOW YOU FOR YOUR PEOPLE TO KNOW.

Their voices were comforting and I wanted to hear more.

As the Sun had now set, a familiar picture of my sky was unfolding. I laid in comfort, and expectation of things to come. The sky seemed to darken quickly with the stars becoming visible, and the constellations then becoming clear, and bright. It was as beautiful as I have ever witnessed. I relaxed while witnessing, this timeless view.

I could then see our galaxy, the great milky-way appear, stretching through the sky horizon to horizon, with its countless points of light. I wondered, of how quickly the evening was passing. It must be my excited anticipation, I thought.

Polaris, the North Star appeared, there in the north, where for me it has nearly always been, of course. My Big Dipper Constellation was right near where I have always remembered it pointing, to the North Star. There was Orion, the hunter constellation, almost in front of me. But, somehow everything, was much clearer to see, than I ever remembered seeing it, even with my glasses on.

The sky somehow was appearing much closer and brighter. It was as if there were no interferences between me and the stars, to wiggle, or distort their light. I thought this must be, because the stars were not twinkling, they were bright, to my sight?

Then I caught a glimpse of a planet, setting in the west, on my right, and I thought it must be Venus, following the Sun over the horizon. The Moon was rising as full and was following Venus across the sky to my right. I could not help but notice how very clear the moon’s craters appeared in sharp relief of the now black, but starry sky. I absorbed it all, as I watched this beautiful panorama unfolding.

Strangely, events as I was observing, seemed like waves, from one to the next. Time seemed as if somehow, floating by me, like, watching a 3-D movie. All the sky looked so beautiful, as if I was seeing it on a gigantic all around me screen. This seemed very odd indeed. My vision was so clear and I blinked, as I thought I saw boot prints on the moon and a comet far off. I was excited like a child at a movie show. I felt anxious and wanted more. Little could I imagine what was in store.

After a brief silence, I heard a few low sounds, and then a peculiar hum. There appeared to be a rhythm to the sounds, but they grew louder and clearer, as I noticed all the sky around me, appearing bigger.

With the marvel of this panorama unfolding, I noticed the stars now seeming to visually move. Wait. Did I imagine it? No. I then felt like I was rolling. As I reached over and pinched my thigh, I realized it was real. And It was startling!

I could now see Venus moving faster, across the sky. The stars were circling overhead, and the moon appeared as if it was now surging across the sky, into the West. I took a deep breath and grabbed onto the tufts of grass on my sides. What was happening? I felt this cannot be. I closed my eyes tightly, and took another deep breath. The swirling motion made my senses unsure.

Then after a brief spell, and to my relief, as quickly as it started, the movement began slowing down and then pulsing, as if brakes were gently applied.

As I let out my breath I felt my heart beating rhythmically to the pulses. When I dared to open my eyes, the sky had stopped moving. All appeared as if normal again. But the movement had looked real. The movement had felt real. Could I just be imagining that all in the sky had been moving, faster than normal? I wondered, what manner of force could do that? My mind was befuddled. I wanted to ask questions.

As I turned to where I thought the voices had come from I felt another slight roll, and the heavens moving. In an instant I realized everything was moving again, from horizon to horizon. My breathing intensified. I grit my teeth and braced myself. Could this be happening again? The ground seemed unstable, and I felt unable to move.

But, as I noticed the movement, I was dumbfounded to see that the sky started to move to my left toward the East. The Moon started to rise in the West, and head back to where it came, as then did Venus.

Within minutes the Sun appeared and rose in the West. It was crossing the sky overhead on my left, following the Moon and Venus. Within a few more minutes, the Sun had crossed the sky and was setting in the East. The speed was increasing, faster and faster. My head was spinning.

Everything in the Cosmos appeared unbelievably to be moving in a reverse direction, from my right to my left, west to east. And it was getting faster and faster. I could feel my heart racing. Time was turning backwards.

I felt a twinge inside my chest, then took another deep breath as the sky turned dark, and stars again appeared. Then I saw rain quickly fall up. Birds became like bullets. They flew backwards and backed into trees and hidden places. The sounds of the lands and the life were all heard in reverse.

Winds sucked surface things backward and dead leaves back up into now living trees. I saw movement on my watch. The hands raced backwards at a dizzying speed. Both hands then quickly flew off.

Clouds became a blur of light. Dark turned to light, and light turned to dark, faster and faster. Plants all around me then shrunk and disappeared into the ground. Rotted trees sprung up from the ground and formed live trees which also shrunk into the ground.

I saw a distant volcano sucking up red rocks, dust, and clouds of gas all around, and devouring them into its belly. The world was rewinding. I felt dizzy. I gasped for air, and then amazingly felt no need for breath, and dizzy went away.

How could this be? This all was so unbelievably strange, but they said I would be in a dimension, not known to me. The Universe appeared as retracing its steps, each piece to whereever it came going backward in time, taking me along with it.

My clothing vanished. My body disappeared. The landscape around me changed from forest and grassland to rock, and the sky turned from blue to orange.

Night and day became indistinguishable, with flashes of light, and great upheaval. Hot rocks gathered and shot into the sky. The moon broke into many small pieces, orbiting the earth along with other pieces of smaller orbs, and then the pieces all hit the earth in one place, then shot back into the sky as one solid body. The stars were now hovering all around, much nearer and brighter than ever before. The earth turned a molten red. It rumbled and shook, and then vanished into tiny orbs and gasses all around. I then witnessed the Sun become a huge ball of gas, and then disperse into nothingness.

All the other stars came closer, and soon dissipated into a huge cloud of gas. The glowing cloud of gas began to twinkle out of existence and disappeared.

All the stars and the planets, were gone. The Moon and the Sun and everything else, had simply disappeared into the darkness and nothingness, and then there was a dull hum. Blackness, and silence prevailed. The quiet was overwhelming.

Just as I thought this event must be over, there grew a vast, all-encompassing shape of light, and energy, and vibrations. They all gathered together in one final focal point, and disappeared into nothingness. Then again, it seemed a long quiet.

6_THE NOTHING

I felt like if in the middle of nothing, and yet everything. My body was gone, but I felt my senses were so clear. Yet, there was nothing to see, nothing to hear, nothing to smell, nothing to sense. I felt floating in nothingness, no up, no down, and no in between, with no solid around me. All was black. To me, all existence was concentrated on one tiny point. I wondered, could some part of me be back before there was space, or even time in itself? There was no energy. There was no substance. There were no dimensions. There was not even empty space. No structure at all. Time had no reason to exist. But somehow, I was here, there, or whatever There is no way to explain. My mind shuddered as I felt this reality hard to believe.

I was just out for a walk. Where were the birds? Then, I could not tell any direction it came, but a calm voice called out from inside of me.

FEAR NOT. YOUR LIFE FORM HAS BEEN LEFT BEHIND, IN A DIMENSION

THAT DOES NOT EXPERIENCE FORWARD-TIME, TO REJOIN YOU AT THE RETURN. YOUR ESSENCE, WE CALL VISION, HAS LEFT OUR PORTAL IN YOUR SKY AND ENTERED THE VAST, AND YOU WILL SENSE ALL, FROM DIMENSIONS NOT KNOWN TO YOU.

Wow, my nose seemed to pant as I shook. I felt lifted or dropped as if no gravity existed, and all my being, was in my mind. I kept thinking what they said. They said, ‘my life form left behind’. They said, ‘in another dimension without forwardtime’. But they assured me they would bring me back to my body, in what they called, ‘the return’. No body to touch or see, but my limbs seemed shaking. I seemed to gasp deeply, with heart pounding and blood flowing. How can this be? Their words rang throughout my being. They said; ‘the purpose of life’ and from another universe and they said, ‘I will return’.

They said ‘like us’. They said ‘seek truth, and foretold a story of woe and suffering’. But they said: ‘it is a story of hope, and of answers to my wonder.’ I will return. Oh, I hope. Hello, hello! Is anything there?

As the nothing dominates it echos with a faint hello, hello, But this time, the sound is not distant. It is inside me..

I’ m there, here, nowhere, nothing. All stories need a stage to act upon. (Chapter 2 The Stage)